We cannot pinpoint when we first learned about sex furniture, much like spaghetti and squirting. Since then, though, we have frequently pondered the question: Is it really worth it to buy furniture if all you want to do is knock on it? If so, where can one find the best sex furniture?
We must first respond to the crucial query: What is and isn’t sex furniture when people have sex on all different kinds of mattresses, sofas, and rugs? We’ve only been able to confidently disclose what you should have on your radar if you’re hoping to have better sex—or at least sex that can save us from a little bit of quarantine ennui—by exploring the boundaries, abilities, and brands.
The constraints aren’t as strict as you may imagine. A visit to Reddit’s r/LowLibidoCommunity, one of many, meaty subreddits with passionate, novel-length reviews and questions on sex furniture, attests to the vitality of the ongoing bend-over-backwards-pillow universe. There, one can find symposiums on the numerous “wedges” by the iconic sex furniture brand Liberator as well as hot takes on the new “Nugget” furniture modules.
What’s wrong with making a small investment in a new lower back roll couch pillow? Your crib might feel a little hotter with all those wiggling candles and that expensive hand soap, but what about the sex itself? The majority of the items listed below are more adaptable, easily accessible, and superior to the shoddy futon you use for visitors. An improvement for all, even your libido.
In an article for VICE that features everything from the iconic Liberator Wedge to an artistic sex chair called the Adela, which is named after a “mythical Mexican female revolutionary” and “reimagines sex furniture through the concept of feminist history,” Sirin Kale claimed that “sex furniture has come a long way from shoving a pillow under your butt.”
So perhaps the better question is, “What isn’t sex furniture?” Crystal coffee tables? Unstable chairs? Sex dungeon-like chevals are the epitome of sex furniture, which is fantastic, but the truth is that sex furniture is much more adaptable. (And ideal for a group night of Pantsdrunk antics.)
The best part is that you can own these stealthiest sex devices. Many of the pieces may chill covertly in the living room, including Transformer sofas, lounge rollers, and wavy rocking chairs. Others remind us that we don’t need to make a big deal out of this and appear like low-key elderly pillows offered at Brookstone, which they are. Just relax and place your feet in the stirrups.
First Slice
a timeless. With a “specially engineered angle [that] helps hit the G-spot or the prostate every time for heightened feelings and amazing orgasms,” the Liberator Wedge’s role in your life is to be the most supporting slice. It also feels quite opulent if you require additional back support to go off with a vibrator.
The wedge pillow by Sleepnitez, which has over 2,500 in-depth reviews on the website and has received positive feedback from consumers on everything from its capacity to improve their sleep to… well, you know, is one of the highly regarded budget selections that can be found on Amazon.
The one from a Miami timeshare in the 1980s
for the mere pleasure of buying sex furniture that can turn into a stool-style chair (just fold the tail end over the fatter portion). This burgundy-colored furniture begs to be covered in Carlo Rossi and seems like it would have been at home in a steamy 1980s holiday home.
You can just deflate this one
This is the easy-to-hide option because none of us have room in our apartments for a huge, errant Wedge. Still, everyone can stow a random, deflated cushion. This inflatable wedge has a rather regal look and is packaged with a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold. Give your companion the item. You can Velcro down, put on an eye mask, and wait to be beamed up if you give it to yourself.
Under-the-sea wedge
On Instagram, the Cult of the Shell Pillow ranks right up there with blob candles and spray-painted mirrors. Make it a sex thing, we say. It already has ridges, an ergonomic wedge shape, and a half-moon shape (sorry, clam). Additionally, this dazzling fellow can live inconspicuously on vintage and contemporary furniture pieces. Mother is not aware.
The knock-off Nugget
Your blank canvas is right here. The “Foamnasium” is essentially a somewhat less expensive version of the Nugget that yet offers all the Build-A-Bear excitement of the popular product; you can customise it into various shapes for lower back support or a more comfortable bend-over position. It’s also meant for kids, but we had no idea and it’s not strange, right?
Rocking chair
It resembles a massive severed artery in a cool way. You’re definitely starting to understand by now that solid sex furniture is all about a smooth design, adaptability, and strategically placing ridges.
If velvet is not your style, cast iron is to skillets what velvet-feeling fabric is to sex furniture: a really nice traditional mainstay, but not all that’s available on the market. High-density foam makes up this couch, yet it has a mesh covering that provides exceptional traction and prevents it from becoming slippery. It unfolds into a sturdy guest mattress.
The appropriate one for your wiggling candle
We are Flubber fans. We adore Y2K memorabilia. In order to keep in mind both, we adore this wavy couch (plus it has big hungry, hungry ass-eating caterpillar energy). With a length of 72 inches, it is clearly not very concealable, but why would you want to conceal this vibe? Excellently complements sculptural candles.
Avana’s wiggle couch is also available on Amazon for almost $200 less and has received excellent reviews. I’m not as flexible as I was 30 years ago, but, DAMN, she really is! This item would have helped my wife and I gain at least a Bronze Medal in couples yoga, claims one reviewer. THIS IS IT if you’re trying to add something to your bedroom furniture!
Large Liberator combination
You succeeded. It’s time for the extension pack now that you’ve tried the original Liberator Wedge and are hooked which, if the feedback for Adam & Eve is any indication, is worthwhile; One of the post-glow users claims, “My girl and I literally do not have sex without it now. Good for me too because it allows her to stay in those positions for however long I want to tongue her asshole for.” Sold!
When you must sit on a dick
None of the online shopping conflagrations delivers quite like Amazon’s depths. Consider this dildo sex ball, which has a rubber peen stem. For this ball, we see a lot of lives. Masturbator.poolside accoutrement. Toss a horseshoe. This is a lot of fun, and you could even get some exercise from it, as one reviewer put it.
The Kinky Throne
In actuality, this is not a seat for an indoor outhouse, but if that’s your thing, we won’t judge. No, this well-built, faux-leather sex chair is already put together and ideal for all oral experimentation. In addition, it has two seat surfaces for use during various forms of play and a nine-inch hole for exploring other interests of your partner(s).
Nothing is wrong about sitting on the bench.
Or perhaps it’s so wrong that it’s true? Just kidding, but there’s nothing wrong with putting your spanking bench—a distant relative of the fainting couch—prominently on display in your living room. What else could serve as the focal point? This approach offers a gentle and reliable foundation for domination, bondage, and spanking.
That concludes our exploration of sex furniture, but if you want to fill your life with even more wedges and cubes, keep looking into sex toy stores like Ella Paradis and Lovehoney, and get ready to continue robbing kids of their furniture on websites like Wayfair, whose conversation pit game is so delightfully, wildly out of control. How is this olive dream not for people in their 30s? What a time it is to live! (and boning).